Little Techno: “Mommy, will you be with me in school?”
Me: “Maybe not this time Little Techno.” But don’t worry, I’ll pick you up after school.”
Little Techno: “But why Mommy?”
Me: “Because I’m finished with school anak. It’s your turn now. Remember you said you are a big boy and ready to do things on your own?”
Little Techno: “Okay Mommy. But will you still be my teacher Mommy?”
Me: Of course anak. I’ll always be your teacher Mommy”.
I can’t help but get sentimental during moments like this. I always end up wasting dozens of tissue paper every time I look back on my son’s growing up years. Now that he’s starting school, I feel that a part of me is having a hard time letting go. Is it because he’s been in my arms for so long? Or maybe I’m just afraid to trust? Here we go, I’m having one of those “first time” mommy dilemmas (again). Today, I just want to hold close in my heart those happy times I used to have as teacher Mommy.
Unlike other parents who already send their children to school at an early age, my husband and I decided to take a detour on our child’s education. We agreed to be our son’s first teachers. We want to give him his primary tour of the universe, teach him his first ABC’s and instill the values we’d like him to embrace at an early age.
It was not an easy ride. One of us took the back seat to meet this family decision. I volunteered. The first few days, weeks and months were very difficult. A lot of hard work and commitment were involved. There were doubtful days when I ask myself – Did we make the right decision? Am I capable to teach my child? And there were moments when I felt lost after taking a lot of wrong turns.
But God is good. He intervened and led us to the right people and resources. Eventually, I gained confidence in teaching my son. The happiness in little Technos face every time he discovered something new is indescribable. His enthusiasm for learning never ended. I felt a different kind of fulfillment every time I see my son sing, count, write, read and the list goes on. Couldn’t be any prouder. The assurance that we’re looking for came the day my son told me “Mommy, sorry for hurting you”. For us, it is a proof that he is learning well.
We did not formally homeschooled our son, but we’re glad we went through the experience. The rewards are priceless, unforgettable. Debra Bell explained it well in her book, “The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling” when she said “There certainly will come a time when we, as parents, must pass the baton and watch our children run their leg of the journey alone.
Parenting was about preparing our kids to make an impact in their generation. It’s God’s intention that our children integrate their lives with others outside our system of belief. But before they go, they need a faith that’s rooted and mature, not one that will quickly shrivel in the face of opposition…”
Now I know why it’s hard for me to let go. Because I felt it was too soon. I didn’t realize that Little Techno is ready to spread his wings and soar. Oh time, you really go by so fast! All I can do is just accept, move forward and expect more adventures. I know there will be changes in our lives again, but as long as I’m Little Techno’s teacher Mommy, I’m good.
To my Little Techno,
Your dad and I love you so much. We are very grateful to be your first teachers. We’ve seen the days you first exhibited curiosity…
the days you first discovered your power, energy…
We look forward seeing more “firsts” in your life. The world is a wonderful place anak. Go, learn and discover some more. Wherever you go, whatever you choose to be in life, we will always be with you on your journey.